Magenta Skies
by grissomsbutterfly1013
Summary: Grissom wakes up at Desert Palms following a car accident and discovers that Sara is missing. As he investigates her mysterious disappearance, his memories of the event become more and more disturbing. Now complete
1. Prologue

A/N: Thanks to my betas **Unspoken** and **Erynn. **As always a story is not a story without an editor. This story was started in Dec of 2005 and has continued to be worked on to this date. I have held back publishing due to time constraints. Now I can continue to update and write!

**Magenta Skies**

_Prologue_

_**For:** Chewy June14 1997-June 4th 2006- love ya always._

"Tell me more of what you saw." The man's voice made Grissom drift deeper into his subconscious, a place that held many secrets and desires he kept hidden from others and now even himself.

"The sky." Grissom's voice seemed to stutter as he tried to stop himself from remembering the past.

"What about the sky?" The man's voice held Grissom under a strange spell, a spell that was too strong to break.

"It was purple. Everything was dark, but the sky was always purple. Nothing seemed right after that night- she was gone. I know she was taken. But the sky, how is it that no one else noticed?" Tears welled up in his eyes as his mind battled with his subconscious

"Gil, stay focused. Where are you?" The man calmly asked.

"I'm there, with her. She's holding my hand. She is telling me that I'm going to be fine. She says that she is going to see me through this." Grissom's eyes rapidly moved, as he relived the night that has haunted him for nearly a year.

"But she disappears. I wake up and she's gone. It's my fault, I did this! But I can't stop it they are telling me I'm going to be fine, I'm going to get through this!" Grissom cried.

"Who is telling you this Gil?"

"The people; who only I can hear. They live in the purple skies- the skies above. And I'm there looking at her, bleeding. Bleeding, bleeding. And it won't stop! And I'm there all alone, I'm going to die and so will she."


	2. Chapter One: Bittersweet

**Magenta Skies**

Chapter 1

One Year Earlier…

"What do you think?" Sara twirled around Grissom in a ravishing magenta gown, accented by a black lace up back. The entire ensemble was made out of fine silk, imported from China; Grissom had surprised her with it, as a Christmas gift. It was their first year together, Grissom had cherished every waking moment he had with Sara, for it was a miracle that their relationship had even begun. He could have sworn that they were jinxed, every time he finally had the courage to ask her out, someone interrupted, him or a big case stopped him from expressing how he truly felt. Now that he finally had her, he would never let her go. He could only hope that she felt the same.

"It's nice." Grissom tried to hide his smile as Sara whacked his arm in protest.

"Just nice? You're the one who spent a fortune on it."

"How can I say something as simple as fabric could be as beautiful as the woman who is under its threads? You are the one true thing that makes any gown exquisite, honey." Grissom gently touched the side of Sara's face, and instantly felt the warmth of desire radiate from her cheeks.

"You keep on talking like that we're going to miss the party." Sara didn't fight Grissom's hands from dipping under her dress and rubbing her thighs. The simple action left him feeling hard, and Sara aroused once more.

"Who wants to go to another 'Ecklie Appreciation Party' anyways?" Grissom whispered hungrily.

"Save it till' after the party, you are just finding a way to stall, aren't you?" Sara giggled as Grissom sported an innocent stare before grabbing his car keys.

"Now, why would you think a thing like that?" Grissom tried to repress his smile once more, while Sara gave him an arched eyebrow in return.

As the couple made their way out of Grissom's townhouse, a light sprinkle of rain began to fall. Sara let out a small giggle, as Grissom held the door open for her, a simple gesture that never seized to make her smile.

Once in the car they both relished in the blissful silence of the short journey to the party. As the rain gently landed on the windshield, Grissom felt his stomach churn. He knew that tonight would be the most important of his entire life; he just hoped everything would go as planned.

'Will she like it? Will she say 'yes'? Am I good enough?' The flood of Grissom's thoughts came to a halt as soon as the car did. The Las Vegas Grande hotel looked stunning even from its exterior. A red carpet lined the entrance to the establishment. Bellhops in red, velvet uniforms escorted individuals to the party, trying not to jump for joy at the generous tippers of the evening.

"Excuse me Sir?" Larry, the youngest employee of the hotel tried to get Grissom's attention as politely as possible. Gil didn't even blink at the young employee's inquiry as his mind went back to his intentions of the evening.

"OK, it's a simple question. You love her, she'll say yes... and..." Grissom was abruptly interrupted by Sara gently patting him on his shoulder.

"Honey? He wants to know if you want the car to be valeted." Sara eyed Grissom cautiously before exiting the car, allowing for the young teen to do his job and park their vehicle. The young adolescent's pimples reminded Sara of why she was thankful for no longer going through puberty.

"So what's on your mind?" Sara questioned while looking into Grissom's eyes for an answer. They walked hand in hand towards the hotel, trying to ignore the steady drops of rain.

"Nothing? Why do you think something is wrong?" Grissom somehow managed to bang into an elderly couple who were trying to make their way to the entrance. The clumsy act only buried him in guilt.

"Sorry!" Grissom blurted out.

Before Sara could press the matter further, a familiar voice made her turn around.

"Hey strangers! Didn't think I'd see you two out here tonight." Brass chuckled when he saw Grissom's unenthusiastic stare.

"Believe me, if I had a say in the matter, we would be at home by the fire...About to..." Grissom stopped in mid thought as he realized there was a hole in his pocket. The realization spread panic through his veins. His face immediately turned pale, and forced him to turn around and re-trace his steps.

"What the heck is wrong Grissom?" Sara shouted as Grissom began to run faster towards the car.

"You two go inside, I'll meet you there. I forgot something important in the car!" Grissom didn't even hear Sara's protests as he raced towards his SUV. He immediately became lost when daunted with the task of finding his black vehicle in the midst of a parking lot full of darkly painted minivans, BMW's and SUV's.

"Why did I choose black? Why not something uncommon like blue, or bubble gum pink?"


	3. Chapter 2: In the Deep

**Magenta Skies**

Chapter 2

After a half an hour of waiting, Sara began to get worried. In the process of waiting, she lost count of how many glasses of wine she consumed and how many appetizers she ate. Ecklie gave his speech and accepted his award for "Most Honorable Lab Director of the Year" and Sara was sure that he took note of Grissom's absence. She was glad he didn't question his whereabouts, as she would have been just as clueless. As much as Grissom loathed Ecklie, he wouldn't leave her alone for this long, unless something was wrong.

"You look a little flustered." A good looking middle aged man in a black tux gave Sara a wide smile, as she turned around to meet his gaze.

"Um, yeah I suppose. My boyfriend has been gone a while." Sara continued to look around for Grissom to appear in the endless crowd of unfamiliar faces.

"Is he gone for good, cause that would make me one lucky man?" The man brushed back his brown hair, and widened his hazel eyes to give Sara another creepy stare.

"If you don't mind, I have to look for my boyfriend." Just as Sara was about to try to escape the man's intense stare, he grabbed hold of her arm forcibly.

"What are you doing?" Sara shouted. Brass took notice of the commotion, but was having a hard time of maneuvering around the crowd of people dancing.

"My name is Max by the way." He smiled, one last time before slamming his lips against her's, in a long kiss. Sara struggled to get free, but due to the amount of alcohol she consumed, it was a lost battle.

"Sara?" Grissom's heart sank, as he stood in front of his most terrifying nightmare come to life. The small, velvet, purple box fell to the ground and opened to reveal a beautiful diamond ring.

With all her might she pushed Max off of her, and ran over to Grissom.

"Grissom please let me explain. He just pushed himself on top of me, and I couldn't get him off. And you were gone for so long." Sara tried to remain calm, but the steady glint of sorrow in Grissom's eyes did not seize no matter what she plead.

"It seemed like you were enjoying it enough." Grissom turned his back to Sara, and stormed out of the party. Sara struggled to catch up, tripping over her dress in the process.

"Can you just stop for one second?" Sara yelled. Grissom's heart felt as if it were about to explode. He didn't want to turn around and more then anything, he didn't want to believe that he may have lost her.

"Just tell me why." Grissom questioned while finally turning around. Sara's eyes glossed over with tears that she refused to let go. She was too strong to break down, she's been through worse.

"I can't. He was all over me Grissom. And when you were gone I had a few drinks, and I wasn't strong enough to get him off of me. Please just trust me for once. You're always expecting me to just run away with someone else, maybe if you keep on believing it, it may just happen." Not being able to stand the stuffy air of the hotel any longer, Sara pushed her way out into the parking lot and ran the whole distance to their car waited for Grissom.

He struggled to find his keys he obtained from the valet earlier. Once he unlocked the doors they both climbed into the car and remained silent before the vehicle even started.

"Listen I'm sorry for getting mad at you earlier. I was acting like an asshole, forgive me?" Grissom held his breath and waited for Sara to answer.

"Grissom, I think we need some time apart. I think you still don't trust me, maybe living apart for a while will let you see that I don't have to be under you watchful eye every moment, and still be in love with you. I was attacked tonight and you didn't seem to comprehend that simple fact. I'm still hurt by your actions, and I think it's going to take a while to heal from that." Sara avoided Grissom's gaze and stared out the window watching the rain now pound down forcibly on the glass. A bolt of lighting made both of them jump in their seats before Grissom turned the ignition and made his way out of the lot.

It was in his best interest to be quiet, he was a real jerk tonight and his insecurities were finally consuming any rationality he once possessed.

'Hmmm. 'Love is blind' huh? How about 'love makes you a real asshole, with no regard for the ones you love.'' Grissom gritted his teeth as he replayed his actions in his mind, not noticing the hail now thumping against his car. As another bolt of lighting hit, Sara began to worry.

"Grissom, maybe we should pull over, it's getting worse the further we head north." Sara gripped her armrests as Grissom continued to head into the storm.

"There's no where to pull over on this road, there are no side lanes. In about a mile there is an exit, we'll get off of the highway and get home from there." Grissom now had to yell over the noise of the hail hitting his car and the loud claps of thunder, which were now becoming more frequent.

"I can't see, is that an exit?" Grissom leaned forward to get a better look. He left his glasses at home, and he could only hope that Sara had better vision from a distance then he did.

"I dunno, I can't make out what the sign says." Sara yelled.

As Grissom slowed down more, to try to get a better look at the sign, a loud bang followed by the deathly screech of tires echoed into the night. An airbag burst into Grissom's face as panic engulfed his body.

"Sara?" Not being able to see over the airbag, Grissom unbuckled his seatbelt and got his first look at Sara. She seemed just as scared as he was, probably taken off guard just as much.

"I think a minivan rammed our bumper." Grissom explained, trying to fend off the oncoming migraine.

"Should we check and see if they're alright?" Sara asked, feeling slightly dizzy. Another clap of thunder reminded them of the severity of the storm, outside the car. The hail continued to fall just as hard as it was a couple of minutes ago. Grissom didn't want his headache to be further compromised by the swift pain of golf ball sized hail on his noggin.

"I'm going to motion him to follow me to the exit so we can exchange insurance information. We're not safe to be stopped like this in the middle of the road..."

Grissom suddenly felt himself being thrown through the air. He didn't remember the sheer force of truck hitting his vehicle, but he would never forget her screams. That was the last time he would see her, that was the last time, everything was normal.


	4. Chapter 3: Apocryphal

**AN: Special thanks to Erynn for betaing so quickly! **

**PS: It will all work out, don't panic during this chapter, you know I want GSR all the way!**

**Magenta Skies**

Chapter 3

His head hurt more than ever, but as he started to become more alert, the pain in his leg became overwhelming. He felt a warm fabric draped around most of his body, and without opening his eyes, he knew that he was no longer bleeding to death along the highway. What scared him the most was that he couldn't remember anything after the accident; this moment was indeed his first new memory.

Sara's painful scream of "Grissom!" in the distance, was the last thing he had heard. His heart monitor began to show the signs of his new stress, as he wondered if Sara was alright or not. His eyes bolted open to find himself confined to a hospital bed. Nick was the first to notice the entomologist's consciousness.

"Where's Sara? Is she alright?" He could hardly breathe as scenarios ran through his psyche.

"Hold on, Gris. Stop panicking; you're fine. Just breathe slowly." Nick replied as he motioned for Greg and Warrick to come into the room.

Catherine was with Lindsay in the cafeteria; her daughter had not eaten in days. Everyone had neglected the simple necessities ever since the accident; they thought they had lost Grissom for good.

"Tell me where she is, Nick!" Gil tried to get up, but a sharp thumping pain in his head kept him from completing the task.

"Where is who?" Warrick wondered. He knew Grissom had hit his head hard, but now he was beginning to fear that his injuries may have affected his entire memory.

"Do I look like I want to be playing games?" Grissom protested.

He couldn't understand it. Hadn't he been through enough? All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around his Sara and never let her go. He wasn't asking for much, unless she was injured worse than he was.

"Dr. Grissom, we were worried sick. You've been out for a while." The attending doctor stated as he entered the room. The shiny nametag was engraved with the name of Dr. Gregory Heliotrope. His salt and pepper locks gave Grissom the hint that he had been in the field for a while.

"How long was I-I unconscious?" Grissom stammered.

"You've been out about three days. You sustained a minor skull fracture and there was some swelling in your brain. We actually didn't expect you to wake yet; it's a good sign that you're improving so quickly." The doctor flashed a small light in the entomologist's eyes as they spoke to one another.

"Where is Sara?" Gil asked once more, looking around the room noting everyone's confused expressions.

"Dr. Grissom, the police never found anyone else at the scene. You appeared to be the only one that was in the vehicle." The doctor stepped back as Grissom looked like he was about to throw up.

_"This can't be possible. Oh, God…what happened to her? Why isn't anyone telling me anything? Are they trying to protect me? Is she..."_ Grissom thoughts trailed off when he felt himself gag and panic overtake him.

"What's happening?" Greg whispered to the group.

He had never seen Grissom so distraught; he thought these were symptoms of his head injury maybe, so he tried to remain calm for the rest of the team.

The doctor backed off, as a nurse took over. He walked over to the team across the room.

"He's having a panic attack. I don't want to sedate him due to the extent of his injuries, so I'm going to try to help him calm down. Do any of you know a 'Sara'?" All that the doctor received were blank stares in return.

"We don't know anyone named Sara at the lab, although Gris's a pretty private guy. He could've had a girl that we don't know about." Warrick announced.

It was the truth; Warrick was a good friend of Grissom, especially after everything they had been through. If it wasn't for Grissom, Warrick could have lost his job due to his gambling habit: a mistake that would have cost him his career. He would do anything for Grissom; he just wished he knew how to help him now.

The doctor made his way back to Grissom and tried to calm him down.

"Gil, listen to me very closely and take some deep breaths, if you want to find out about Sara. We need you to calm down, so we can ask you some questions." The doctor's voice seemed faint as the ringing in Grissom's ears grew louder.

Grissom felt dizzy and barely staying conscience. He felt the room spin rapidly as he felt someone's hand in his, the hand felt familiar and filled him with comfort.

"Sara?" Grissom questioned aloud, as he looked down at his empty hand on the hospital bed. No one's hand was near his, just an IV drip running through his veins.

"You're going to be fine." A familiar feminine voice echoed in his head and soothed him. The voice calmed him down enough to stop the dizziness.

"You're going to be fine, Dr. Grissom." The doctor stated.

"I just heard her; you can't hide anything from me any longer. I know she is here in the hospital. I can feel her." Grissom tried to remain calm as the team began to look worried once more.

"Gil, explain to us who Sara is." The doctor sat down on the edge of the bed as the rest of the team moved forward to listen to what Grissom had to say. They seemed just as confused as Grissom was.

"I shouldn't have to explain her to anyone! Nick, would you care to explain to the doctor who Sara Sidle is?" Grissom waited for Nick's response and all he was rewarded with was a perplexed expression.

"Gris, I've never heard of her, man. Is she someone you know that you haven't introduced us to?" Nick was trying to blaze through his memories as fast as he could, but he failed in putting a face to the name.

"This isn't happening. What's going on? How is this possible?" Questions flooded through Grissom's brain as he tried to figure out the meaning behind everyone's absent mind.

When Catherine finally entered the room, Grissom seemed to light up with hope.

"Cath, come on, please stop this game. This isn't funny. Please tell everyone who Sara Sidle is." Grissom seemed to confuse Catherine more than anyone. Her mouth flat lined as she tried to figure out what was going on.

"Gil, what are you talking about?" Catherine walked over to his bed and looked him in the eye. She immediately saw frustration and pain welling up inside. Her heart ached for the amount of stress he was under. She did know a Sara Sidle, a woman Grissom only talked about on occasion during the first few years she had known him. She didn't know if it would be beneficial to tell him that the name rang a bell or not. She didn't want to risk encouraging him if the name was apart of his injury.

"Doc, can I talk with you outside for a moment? Guys keep Grissom company, please." Catherine reluctantly looked back at Grissom one last time before shutting the door.

The hallway's air seemed more comforting; Grissom's room was filled with the sense of panic and dread. She knew that in his heart, he was telling the truth, but she didn't know if he was remembering fact or fiction. She had heard about cases of people waking up from head injuries having their brain permanently damaged. Catherine could only hope that Grissom was not one of those cases; he has a brilliant mind. She could only pray that it would stay sane.

"The name sounds familiar, I'm guessing." The doctor made sure the door was completely closed before motioning for Catherine to continue.

"Yeah, it does as a matter of fact. When Grissom used to do yearly lectures at various universities, he came across a young woman by the name of Sara Sidle. From the sound of it, he liked her and she liked him, but nothing ever came of it. This was a while ago; I'm talking over ten years ago. I don't think he has seen her since, at least he never told me about it." Catherine pulled a loose stand of golden blonde hair behind her ear as she looked into Grissom's room once more.

Somehow Grissom sensed her stare and gazed back into her eyes, the same amount of pain was omitting from his pupils.

"Don't be alarmed, many patients who initially wake up from severe brain injuries usually experience similar symptoms. We call it FMS: False Memory Syndrome. In most cases, the patient accepts the false memories as being 'phony' after therapy. We're going to conduct a series of tests on Dr. Grissom to determine how severe his injury was and what the long term effects may be. Just tell your friends that we will know more about his condition in the next day or so. Until then, try not to let him talk too much about Sara. It seems like his brain his experienced temporary amnesia; he has mixed up dates and people." The doctor patted Catherine on the shoulder in an attempt to comfort her.

The gesture didn't go very far.

"So in all honesty, he's just utterly confused right now?" Catherine stated.

"Yes, and he is in a great deal of physical and emotional pain." The doctor put on his best 'happy' face before entering Grissom's room once more.


	5. Chapter 4: Drowning in Thought

**Magenta Skies**

Chapter 4

"Grissom!" Sara screamed as he struggled to look up at the sky. The rain washed away the blood that was streaming down his face, as he felt his heart beat uncontrollably in his chest. That's when he saw it; the sky was pure purple. It looked like an image out of a Tim Burton film, it was as if a child took a magenta crayon and colored in the heavens. There was no black or no blue; only the flush of purple. As his confusion continued, he looked down at his hands and saw his blood transform from scarlet red to violet.

"What the hell is happening to me?" Grissom's voice echoed across the road and saw an ambulance pull up along with several police officers. She wasn't breathing, and that's when he heard their voices. They weren't coming from the emergency workers; they were coming from somewhere else, somewhere higher above.

"You're going to be alright. Everything is fine, don't worry. Stay with me. Don't leave me. Please stay here." The voices were distorted; he had to struggle with all his might to hear each syllable in every word. Why couldn't they hear them? Wait! Why weren't they helping Sara?

Sara lay lifeless in the car in her purple gown, which was torn to shreds. From this distance, he couldn't see if she was dead, but in his heart, he knew she was alive.

He wanted to shout out to the workers to do something, but no words came out. The only voices he continued to hear were the voices above, and that's when she disappeared.

"Please help her, someone do something." Grissom moaned in his sleep.

Catherine gently shook Grissom awake. She couldn't stand to see him suffer this much, even though it was just a dream. As Grissom slowly awoke, he felt his body covered in sweat and his leg gently throb, reminding him that his dream had to have been real.

"I know she's alive, Catherine! You don't have to hide anything from me! Please just tell me the truth: you know who she is! I'm not crazy!" Grissom's heart continued to beat rapidly and his anxiety showed up loud and clear on the heart monitor.

"Grissom, do you know how hard you hit your head?" Catherine asked, trying to avoid his usual question.

"I don't remember. I just remember lying on the ground." Grissom replied, lightly feeling the bandages which wrapped his skull.

"You flew out of your front window at 50kms an hour and landed on rock solid cement on your right leg. You're lucky you didn't land on your head or else; you wouldn't be with us, and I'm thankful that you're alright. However, as your friend, I thought I would tell you the truth." Catherine announced, unable to keep her eyes locked with his.

Grissom was hoping that the reality would finally bleed through the madness once Catherine explained to him what was going on.

"The truth is: yes, there is a woman named Sara Sidle. You have mentioned her in the past, but that was in the past, Grissom, nearly ten years ago. The doctor thinks your mind has patched together people and places in the wrong order and contrived a bunch of false memories. It's like your brain has been temporarily short circuited." Catherine looked up to see him even more stressed.

"This is impossible! I'm not crazy, Catherine. I know she is alive and I know she is real. This all has to be a dream! This can't be happening. I was with her finally! Do you know how long I waited to tell her how I felt? I have nearly seven years of memories with Sara and you're trying to tell me that they're not real!" Grissom couldn't believe it. Someone was lying and it wasn't him; it seemed like he could trust no one any longer, even Catherine and the rest of the team had turned on him. He couldn't believe it, he was not crazy. He loved Sara and nothing in the entire world was going to stand in his way of finding her.

"I know it's tough to accept right now, but it is the truth. I'm hoping now that you know it; you will be able to recover faster. For your own good, Gil, forget about Sara and get better. We miss you like hell at work, you're our leader and we're going to be there for you no matter what. Just try and think about what I have told you." Catherine patted Grissom's sweaty hand one last time before leaving the room.

"I know you're out there, Sara, and I'm not going to rest until I find you." Gil immediately willed his body to recover as fast as possible.

As soon as he could walk, he wanted to investigate her whereabouts, someone was hiding something. He knew she was in the hospital…he could feel her.


	6. Chapter 5: Revelations

**AN:** Thanks to my beta, **Unspoken** for this set of chapters. You're the best.

Please let me know what you think after these two chapters- as I said everything will eventually become clear.

Chapter 5

**Magenta Skies**

"You seem to be recovering quickly!" The young African American nurse tied her shoulder length brown hair into a bun, before tending to her patient. Wauneta had become one of Grissom's good friends in the hospital. She seemed to be the only person who didn't lie to him.

"Do you think I'm crazy for having years of memories about a woman who doesn't exist?" Grissom sighed, as he watched Wauneta change her bandages.

"You know what? If those memories are good ones, and they bring you joy, what is the harm in having them? You deserve to have some happiness after all that has happened to you." Wauneta smiled as she began to put new gauze over Grissom's head.

"What if they do make you happy, but other people condemn you for that happiness?" Before being able to think further on the matter, something caught his eye. Grissom felt a pang of fear, once he realized that something was wrong.

"Dr. Grissom?" Wauneta immediately grew concerned, once she saw all the color drain out of Grissom's face.

"Let me see my bandages again." Grissom's heart raced, as he waited to see what he thought he had only imagined. Wauneta gave Gil another look of concern, before handing over one of the bloody bandages. Grissom had to do a double take as to what he was seeing. The blood was the color of dark magenta, the same color as the night sky from the accident. He thought he only imagined it- was he really going crazy?

"Purple? What color is my blood?" Grissom demanded, while holding up the gauze. He was tired of being crazy; he needed some recognition that he wasn't seeing things.

"Dark red. Dr. Grissom, I really think you need some rest." Wauneta didn't want to betray Grissom's confidence, but she had to let his doctor know of this new episode. It could mean that there was more damage done then she thought.

Once the moonlight lit his room, Grissom knew it was late enough to attempt the impossible. With all his strength, he pushed himself up into the empty wheelchair beside his bed. He was lucky Wauneta had forgotten to put it away, after one of his rehabilitation sessions. Every move seemed more painful than the first, this time he was getting up on his own. Grissom was starting to grow tired of being dependant on others, and in order to put his mind at ease, he had to grow back his independence. After all, he wasn't confined to his room like in a prison. Why should he lie back and sleep, when no one else would give him the truth? There were too many unanswered questions, and countless "what ifs" for Grissom to be lying down lifeless and disabled.

Once he placed himself in the wheelchair, he begun to wheel himself as quietly as he could to his door. Every inch closer, his chair grew louder. It figured, his chair never squeaked earlier, only when he needed to be most quiet. As he opened the door, he was lucky to find himself in an empty corridor, free of any nosy hospital orderlies.

"Now all I have to do is find a disguise." Grissom pondered. As fashionable as the backless hospital gown was, he needed to look more natural. As he slowly made his way down the corridor, a white coat hanging on a door caught his eye.

"Perfect." Grissom whispered aloud, before grabbing it and trying it on.

"I'm a disabled doctor, who's going to question that?" He sarcastically thought aloud. Grissom was beginning to feel slightly crazy at his rationalizations. He looked ridiculous; any child older than the age of five could easily guess that he was a hospital patient playing dress up. Was his brain really giving out? Perhaps this wasn't the first sign. What was he doing? How was he going to find answers?

"They're just going to send me to my room, and sign me up for another psych evaluation after this..." Grissom sighed, as he made his way closer to the nurse's reception.

"May I help you?" The soft feminine voice caught him off guard. The nurse was fairly tall and her stalky build made Grissom believe she could play on a woman's rugby team. However, the cane by her side, proved to be his first streak of luck.

"Um, yes I'm looking for a chart on a patient." Grissom's palms began to sweat, as his heart raced. There was no one else around, but that could quickly change. Encountering a blind receptionist was a strike of good luck, anyone else would ruin his plan.

"Name please." The young women stated, as she cracked her knuckles ready to search the hospital's database.

"Sara Sidle." The name still made his heart lurch. He had never cared about a woman as much as Sara, if she was hurt or god forbid dead, he wanted to know. He wanted to end the charades that his friends were surly playing on his psyche. Grissom needed to know what was real, and what, was fiction. He could only pray that she existed; he needed her more than ever.

"Miss, may I ask how you know what names are coming up…if you can't..." Grissom was always respectful of those with a disability. He was also intrigued at their abilities to adapt and cope with their situation.

"If I can't see? Well, I'm partially blind; my sight grew worse as I became older. It started when I was a baby. I can only see the outline of people from a distance, but if I am sitting close enough to a person, I can make out greater details. A computer screen is bright enough to enable me to view what I type, if I sit close enough." The computer finally 'beeped' at her query. Grissom frowned at the negative sound the computer spewed out.

"I'm sorry Doctor, but she's not a recent patient, the record we have dates back to 2000." The woman printed out the file, and hoped that he could analyze the file incase there was a misunderstanding.

"What was the purpose of her visit?" Grissom's voice held a slight tremble of fear that the nurse sensed almost immediately.

"She was submitted to the maternity ward to deliver her baby." The nurse smiled as she handed Grissom the file over the tall reception desk.

Grissom felt light headed, as he looked over the file. Every wall in the corridor seemed to be caving in on him. He needed to get out of the hospital and find her. He could only hope the address on the file was still accurate.


	7. Chapter 6: A New Beginning

Chapter 6

**Magenta Skies**

**One Month Later**

"Dr. Grissom, I must say that I am quite pleased with the progress you've made. I can honestly admit that your friends were quite worried for you." Dr. Heliotrope smiled as Catherine, and the rest of the CSI team stood over Grissom's bed.

"It took a bit of healing on my part, and a lot of support, but I think I know fact from fiction now." Grissom tried to ignore the guilt of lying to those who cared about him the most. However, if they knew the truth, he would never leave the confines of the hospital.

"I'll leave you to pack your things, Doctor Grissom. And good luck with the future. I have scheduled you for monthly psychiatric counseling, with Doctor Shapiro just incase your delusional episodes reoccur. But, judging from your progress, I don't think that will be a problem." Dr. Heliotrope grinned once more, as he and most of the CSIs cleared out of Grissom's room.

Over the past two months Grissom had acquired quite a list of personal effects. Balloons, cards, flowers and a huge stuffed teddy bear, from Catherine, filled his room. He still had to pack all of his clothes- not to mention his collection of presents from the hospital gift shop. Catherine couldn't hold back her grin as she watched Grissom struggle to fit everything into his small suitcase.

"Damn thing never closes properly!" Grissom swore under his breath, as tried with all his might to stuff everything into one place.

"Here let me. I always said, what you need is a woman's assistance." Without hardly any effort, Catherine zipped Grissom's bag closed. Grissom gave Catherine an arched eyebrow in return. "So you gonna get into the dating ring soon, or do I have to drag you?" Catherine stared at Grissom awaiting a response. All she got was a frown in return.

"Cath– I don't think so." Grissom's voice held a sense of sadness that Catherine only heard when he used to reflect on his "memories" with Sara.

"Gil, you're not still holding onto those fake memories are you? You know they aren't real." Catherine patted Grissom's back, as he folded another shirt and stuffed it into another zip-up bag.

"Memories are a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are and the things you never want to lose." Grissom quoted, as he turned around to look Catherine in the eye. How long could he hide the truth?

"There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory." Catherine quoted back, smiling at the surprised look she was rewarded with.

"Josh Billings? I'm impressed. Someone has been doing some reading recently?"

"Yeah, when you have a daughter who's taking general literature, you learn a thing, or two. Seriously Gil, you would make the whole team happy if you went out and moved on." Catherine's lips narrowed into a frown at Grissom's transparent gaze which held no emotion.

"I have moved on. As a matter of fact, I'm starting my vacation tomorrow." The news caught Catherine off guard. She never thought Grissom as the vacationing type; hopefully he meets someone worthy enough to date.

"To where may I ask?" A smile spread across her lips once more at the news.

"To San Francisco. I've always wanted to visit that side of the coast; I've just never had the chance. And with this new vacation time, I thought I would travel." Grissom packed his last shirt into the bag and felt a sense of relief wash over his body. He was finally getting out of the one place that made him feel crazy. What Catherine didn't know was that Grissom was still having the nightmares, which made him wake up in a cold sweat every night. He still saw images of purple, and worst of all, he was still hearing voices. He could only hope that it was the hospital that was poisoning his mind. He knew he wasn't crazy, and he had Sara's file tucked away safely in his suitcase to keep him sane. The file was his evidence that he wasn't insane. She existed; all he had to do was find out what went wrong. Why would she leave him during a time he needed her most.

"Well I hope you have a great time, you deserve it."

"I'm just doing to sign the discharge papers. Care to join me?" Grissom couldn't wait any longer to sign the paper to his freedom.

"I'll be right there; I'm just going to make sure that you didn't forget anything. You're memory still isn't one-hundred percent." Catherine stated, as she watched Grissom leave the room. A lonely sock caught her eye and she bent over almost immediately to retrieve it.

"Hmm, both bags are full to the brim. I'm better off opening the side compartment of the suitcase than venturing into the depths of either bag." Catherine slowly opened the side of the suit case, and was surprised to see a beige file fall out in response. She immediately began to feel like she was choking, as she examined the file. Her breath was caught in her throat and she had to force herself to calm down.

"I can't let him do this! There is no way he's going alone- I have to follow him. If anything happens, I'm going to feel responsible. I thought he was making progress not getting worse." Catherine's mind overflowed with the dilemma of telling the doctor of her findings. "Or he could get over this whole thing if he finally saw her. Maybe nothing will happen..." She thought.

Catherine shoved the file back into Grissom's suitcase just in time. Grissom opened the door and looked Catherine over with concern.

"You OK?" Grissom asked.

"Yeah I'm fine, just a little hungry. Let's eat, lunch is on me." Catherine forced herself to smile, as she eyed his suitcase one last time. She helped Grissom with his luggage, as she looked the room over one last time.

Grissom on the other hand, never looked back.


	8. Chapter 7: Drowning

**AN:** Thanks to **Unspoken** for betaing again! Remember, I want GSR- so don't let this chapter make you confused...There is a reason for everything. 

Chapter 7

**Magenta Skies**

The flight was brief, yet painstaking for Grissom, as his mind was overflowed with how to approach Sara.

"Do I go to her house and demand for an explanation? Why did she visit the maternity ward?" Grissom thought.

He never remembered there being a baby!

"Do I calmly approach her? There has to be a reasonable explanation for her disappearance. But why did everyone insist that she didn't exist?" Grissom pondered. The last question always seemed to perplex him even further. He knew without a doubt that he was sane; however, he would always get to the last piece of evidence and become confused. Why would all of his closest friends insist that Sara does not exist? That one factor in particular always stabbed him in the back. If he did in fact damage his brain more then he believed, he would indeed be experiencing fake memories.

"The feelings I experience every time I think of her, cannot be a lie." Grissom thought, as he walked out of the airport and hailed a cab. She had to remember him. She didn't move on and start a new life.

"Maybe she did move on…Perhaps she couldn't deal with the realistic fact, that I was a cripple." The thought pained his heart even more.

"Where to buddy?" The husky taxi cab driver inquired. His body odor was strong enough to force Grissom to breathe through his mouth.

"Umm, Three Hundred Viscount Drive, please." Grissom tried to hide the muffle in his voice from not using his nose.

"Oh fancy area!" The driver retorted, as he pulled out of the parking lot.

"Fancy area?" Grissom wondered further why Sara would move to such an expensive part of town, with the little bit of income she would be struggling on.

"Maybe, she is better off without a delusional jerk like you!" A voice yelled.

"Excuse me?" Grissom calmly retorted.

"I didn't say anything." The cab driver responded as he concentrated on driving through traffic.

"Grissom? It's alright I'm here." The familiar voice echoed through his head.

"Sara? What is happening to me?" Grissom felt his heart rate increase as the whole cab turned a shade of magenta. The cab driver began to laugh as he turned around. As soon as his face met with Grissom's, his mouth opened wide but no sound came from his lips; the sight made shivers run down Grissom's spine. Without the driver's lips moving at all, he began to speak. The car seemed to drive, by itself.

"Grissom? It's alright I'm here." Sara's voice continued to echo through the cab driver's open mouth.

"Please stop! Don't do this to me! Go away!" Grissom yelled, as he closed his eyes and tried to block out the image.

"Hey Buddy! Calm down we're here!" The driver yelled. When Grissom opened his eyes everything was back to normal. However, the episode still left him shaken up. Sweat rolled down his forehead, as the images still haunted him.

Maybe, there was something wrong with him.

"Hello? I said that will be thirty-four-fifty!" The cab driver gave Grissom another scornful gaze, as he snapped out of his thoughts once more.

"Uh, right." Grissom handed the money over as quickly as he could. He needed fresh air; the stuffiness of the cab must have made him tired.

"It was a dream, I didn't hallucinate." Grissom's confidence was washed out the window when he discovered that he was now standing on Sara's porch.

"I can't do this- what if they're right and I'm wrong? She's going to think I'm crazy." He stopped muttering aloud, once he discovered a teenager walking across the street was giving him odd glances. Despite his rational thoughts, Grissom's heart won him over.

Their relationship was a reality; feelings of love never can come from hallucinations, especially for Grissom.

He forced his shaking hand to knock on her door several times, each knock echoed through the quiet street. He was rewarded, with not a single presence in the household, it appeared that either no one was home, or he was being ignored.

"Come back later, she could be out shopping…Or at the dentist…Or the doctors." The last thought made his stomach plunge back into the butterflies of the abyss. That mysterious visit to the maternity ward, still puzzled him and scared him like hell at the same time. He tried to run various scenarios through his head, as he walked down Sara's street and into a local park.

The combination of water trickling and a child laughing got his attention. Grissom walked over to a small stream and smiled as the young child looked fascinated by a small bee buzzing over a flower

"You like bugs?" Grissom inquired. The young boy looked up at Grissom with his big brown eyes and grinned.

"Yeah! This is a big bee." The child leaned in closer to the dandelion and watched the plump bee gather the pollen, and then buzz away.

"Yeah it was. Umm, where're your parents?" Grissom started to worry as he looked around for the child's mother or father.

"I dunno. I followed the bee here when my mom was reading a big book. I thought she was gonna' be doin' that for a while." The boy took Grissom's hand, and led him into a small forest.

"Is your mom on the other side?" Grissom asked.

"I think so."

The young child's lack of confidence made Grissom slightly nervous as they passed through the small forest rather quickly. Grissom remembered the days he spent with his mother at the park. It was filled with similar activities the young child carried out. He would frequently disappear on his mother, due to following a new and exciting insect. The memory made Grissom grin as they walked out of the forest.

He saw the back of a woman; her long auburn hair flowed in the wind. She was looking down at a book and did not seem to notice that her child was gone. The realization made Grissom feel slightly upset. How could a mother not even realize her own child was missing?

"Excuse me?" Grissom's voice made the young woman pop out of her thoughts and turned around. His head spun at the sight before him. All the color drained out of his face as he immediately recognized the young child's mother.

"Sara?" His voice caught in his throat, as he tried to catch his breath. It felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him, and he was struggling to keep a hold of his steady breathing.

Sara's eyes glanced over the man before her. He seemed so familiar, yet a complete stranger. His black sweater and black pants added further to his mystery. He looked as if he came from a funeral, and the bags under his eyes made Sara realize that he was running on very little sleep. Eventually the name came to her.

"Grissom?" Sara watched in surprise, as tears welled up in his eyes.

"Everyone said you wouldn't remember me. I knew it wasn't all a lie, I knew I wasn't going mad." Grissom stepped towards the woman he loved and was ready to embrace her with a hug. Instead, Sara offered her hand for a friendly handshake. The action left Grissom speechless.

"What has it been? Like ten years?" Sara took back her hand, and tried to shrug off the bad vibes she was getting from her former lecturer.

"What? No…Don't you remember?" Grissom looked Sara over once more and finally put the facts together. "We had a child?" Grissom asked as he looked at the young boy once more and then back up at Sara.

"Is this some sorta joke, Max put you up to?" Sara let out a laugh, which quickly faded as she glanced back into Grissom's eyes.

"There's so much pain in his eyes." Sara thought, as she tried to figure out what he wanted.

"Max?" The name sent Grissom into a memory relapse. He suddenly saw Sara and her child turn a shade of purple, as an image flew right into his brain.

_"What are you doing?" Sara shouted. Brass took notice of the commotion, but was having a hard time of maneuvering around the crowd of people dancing._

_"My name is Max by the way." He smiled one last time, before slamming his lips against hers in a long kiss. Sara struggled to get free, but due to the amount of alcohol she consumed, it was a lost battle._

_"Sara?" Grissom's heart sank as he stood in front of his most terrifying nightmare come to life. The small, velvet, purple box fell to the ground and opened to reveal a beautiful diamond ring._

"That guy? You're with that asshole that tried to take you away from me? The ring…I dropped the ring when you ran out. What did he do, steal it and then give it to you?" Grissom felt all the veins in his head raise as his anger peaked further. The name Max, echoed through his mind, and he was now the center of all his anger.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sara started to panic, as she held her child closer to her body.

"Is he ours, or his?" Grissom yelled, as he pointed to the child who was now shaking against his mother.

"Get the hell away from me and my child. I don't even know you! The last time I saw you was ten years ago." Sara's voice trembled, as Grissom's anger and confusion collided.

"This can't be possible! I have so many memories- You're lying! You're lying to cover up your relationship with him, aren't you? How long was I really in that coma, Sara? You made the whole team lie, so you could fuck another man." Grissom's last statement hurt the most, because he felt it held the most truth.

_A image of himself, in a well full of water, gasping for air flashed behind his eyes._

He shook himself out of the hallucination.

"If you come near me or my child again, so help me god I will not be responsible for the consequences." Sara began to walk away, but failed when Grissom grabbed her arm.

"You think you can get away with something like this? After all we have been through?" Grissom said as his mind flashed back to a well once more.

_His gaps grew harder as the water seemed to rise._

"Get your hands off of me." Sara spoke through her gritted teeth. She quickly glanced down at Spencer and tried to remain calm.

"Run home and get your dad." Sara whispered to her son.

"But…"

"Go!" Sara yelled, as she watched her son run as fast as he could. He was safe now; that was all that mattered.

"Just tell me the truth! I deserve that much." Grissom's voice appeared to be the only sound coming from the entire park. Not even a bird sang nor a bee buzzed. It was the loudness of silence that scared Sara the most. No one could hear her scream, even if she tried.

As Grissom tried to stay in a present state of mind he saw himself in a well once more, this time he was holding his breath.

_Too much of the truth was drowning him_.

"You know what; you tell me what you remember." Sara screamed back as she continued to try to get free.

"I remember never telling you how I felt, always escaping from any form of intimacy. I remember the plant I sent you, after I was a jerk, and how I held your hand too many times instead of going further. Our first kiss was in the Break Room, you made the move, because after six years of waiting, you couldn't take it any longer. The first time we made love was at my townhouse, we we're supposed to be working on a case, but we started talking… Too much was revealed about how we felt, to go back to the way things were. That night I fell in love, and I never went back to the way I was." Grissom's grip on her shoulder got more loose, as he recalled the past that Sara knew nothing about.

_The water was too much._

"I remember flying through the air, and I even remember landing on the ground. The pain was too much and I blacked out. When I woke up that's when everything was purple…." Sara slowly started to slip out of Grissom's grasp as he continued to recall the strange memory.

"… Someone was telling me I was going to be alright…"

_The water over powered him, he gave in to the darkness._

Sara stepped further away from Grissom without his knowledge. He appeared to be in another world.

"…Until you were gone." Grissom whispered to himself, as Sara ran away into the distance.

_In his mind, his body floated deep within the well- lifeless without hope._


	9. Chapter 8: Unpredictable

Chapter 8 

**Magenta Skies**

Catherine's phone rang with great urgency, which resulted in her jumping up from her motel bed. Her muscles tensed all at once and she tried to hide her pain as she answered her cell.

"Willows" Catherine sighed, as she tried to rub the pain out of her legs.

"We just got a complaint about a Gil Grissom, that's the man you're looking for right?"

"Detective O'Neal correct?" Catherine waited for a response and all she received was a grunt. "Give me the low down." Catherine could only hope that her mistake wouldn't cost Gil his reputation. She had followed Grissom in a taxi cab, as soon as he left the airport. She lost him in the hustle of San Francisco's traffic. All she could do was call the local PD and hope they would find him, preferably in a non-compromising situation. She needed to get Gil out of the city, and away from Sara, before he did something reckless that he would live to regret.

"A Sara Sidle called the local PD, at around four o'clock yesterday and said that he threatened her and was acting aggressive. She said he didn't look well either; he supposedly was talking to himself most of the time. Is there something you're not telling me Mrs. Willows?" The officer patiently waited for an answer.

"Listen if I wanted to hide something, I wouldn't have got you involved. He's still getting over an accident, nothing more. He'll be fine." Catherine was glad she was a good liar; she knew that Gil was hanging onto his sanity by a short thread. She just hoped she could get him home before anyone else realized the same.

"Good because we found out where he's stayin'. The Dark Dive Hotel on Twentieth. And if you were smart I'd get him outta' there as soon as possible, they don't call it the Dark Dive for nothin'." The officer wheezed into the phone one last time before hanging up. He certainly wasn't much for small talk, and for Catherine that was a bonus. She had no time to be beating around the bush, while her colleague needed her help more than ever. She just prayed he would come willingly.

* * *

Grissom walked down the street and tried to ignore the steam coming from the sewers below. The image reminded him of a case where he had to clear his head, and walk the streets of Vegas at night. His search for inner answers led him to Sara, who was standing in a dark lot looking at a billboard. The memory made a slight smile cross his lips, before it quickly vanished like the steam slowly rising around him. The sad part was: he didn't know if the memories were real or a figment of his imagination.

His pace slowed when he finally saw her home in the distance. Over a small hill stood his dream house, with his dream wife and the child he would have always wanted. Secretly since he first met Sara, he had wanted a life with her. Why he never made that first move so much earlier was a decision he would always live with. That is…If it even happened.

He gingerly opened the rusted steel gate which guarded her home from intruders. One may say that her gate of protection was a pseudo. It made her feel safe about her surroundings, even though anyone with a working pair of hands could get past her fortress. After getting past her "alarm" system, Grissom slowly moved towards her home, making each step barely indent the grass. He could tell by the lack of lights that everyone in the household was asleep, he just couldn't figure out which room was hers. He knew it wasn't right to be on her property and intruding on her personal life. His logical side was screaming at him full force to run while he still could.

However, the pain deep within his stomach urged him to continue.

He never saw Max …

Except during the night of the party.

The night where he stole away his fiancée, with one kiss. She told him he was over reacting, that it was just a mistake. She followed up, by suggesting that they needed to have a break in their relationship.

She didn't trust him.

Grissom walked further, making his way towards the back of her house.

It should have been the other way around. He should have been the one shouting about trust; he wasn't the one that kissed a member of the opposite sex.

Just as his thoughts turned into bitter diatribes, a bang got his attention.

"Sara?" Grissom wondered aloud as he tried to remain calm. He could have sworn he heard a cry right after. Something wasn't right.

As Grissom ran closer, a cry got his attention further. As he moved more to the back of the house the noises got louder.

That's when his heart almost exploded, with agony.

"God Max…" Sara cried, as she was pinned underneath her husband moaning in ecstasy. The bangs of the headboard grew louder and louder, as Grissom watched through an open slit in the blinds. Each moan was a stab to his heart. Grissom winced as he watched their silhouettes move in harmony against the opposing wall. It would have looked beautiful, if he was apart of the soft shadows.

Instead he watched, stunned and unable to move from the window. His entire life was shattered in an instant because he now knew the truth. He has lived a lie. Everything he knew was a false reality. It had felt so real…

"It can't be true! I love her…" Without realizing it Grissom screamed his thoughts aloud. In an instant Sara jumped, and felt her blood rush out of her face

"Max?" Sara whispered.

"What was that? If that's him I'll kill him without question." Max's veins already began to bulge from his temple, at the thought of getting even with the psychopath who threatened his wife. And now he was spying on their lovemaking and stalking her?

It was too much.

"Wait let's call the police." Sara urged.

"And let them come when it's too late?' Max yelled, as he put on some sweatpants and grabbed his bat underneath his bed.

Grissom had fallen to the ground. His entire world spun, as he fought to get the voices out of his head.

"It's going to be alright. I love you. Please don't leave me." Sara's voice urged, in his head.

"NO!" Grissom yelled as he gripped his head as he curled into the fetal position on the ground.

"It's going to be alright. I love you. Please don't leave me. It's going to be alright. I love you. Please don't leave me. It's going to be alright. I love you. Please don't leave me…." The voices continued to echo in his head as he closed his eyes in pain. His head hurt more than any headache he had ever experienced. As he tried to regain control he was oblivious to the figure approaching him. As his screams of pain continued, the shadow moved in on him closer…

"Please I just want to be normal again. I want things to go back to the way they were- when I could predict my life. I want predictability! I want my logic back! Please!" Grissom screamed to no one in particular, as the figure grabbed him by the arm, that's when everything faded to black.

* * *

TBC Please let me know what you think ;)


	10. Chapter 9: Perception

Magenta Skies

**Chapter 9**

**AN:** If you notice any loop holes in this chapter or "mistakes" in the storyline it's for a reason that will be explained soon! I have to thank **Unspoken **once more for her beta job! You're the best.

"Maybe we should take it slow at first, I don't want to make him worse than he already is." Catherine exclaimed, not realizing that Grissom was beginning to regain consciousness.

Catherine continued to quietly speak, to what Grissom believed to be a doctor. He assumed they were in the next room, where that was, he did not know. He couldn't fully open his eyes yet and when he did, his headache returned. For now, all he could do was squint at his new surroundings.

Grissom rested on a fold out bed in a rustic looking living room. A moose head was displayed above the fireplace across from him, while soothing trickles from a water fountain outside, lingered in through an open window. The room smelled like wood and fresh paint, and the smells were beginning to make Grissom realize that he was no longer in San Francisco.

He couldn't remember how he got here. Was it more missing memories or was he unconscious the whole time? The questions rang through his head, as he began to recall the events he last remembered.

And then the pain returned.

Sara didn't love him. Even worse, she didn't know who he was. To her he was a madman that she met a couple of times at her University.

Maybe he did need help.

Could everything he had known been a lie?

"We must start on hypnotherapy right away Ms. Willows. His condition will only get worse." The doctor announced. He was an elderly gentleman, no more than sixty. His black jacket and blue shirt underneath brought out his aqua eyes. Judging from the crow's feet around his eyes, he had seen many sunny days during his life thus far. Catherine tried to avoid staring at the old ketchup stain on his kakis and kept her focus on the matter at hand.

Doctor Regan Mauve was an expert in missing memory syndrome. After Catherine saw Grissom's state of mind at Sara's home, she and Doctor Mauve carried Grissom to their car and got away as soon as possible. Grissom was unconscious since the incident, and she hoped he would be co-operative during his recovery.

She didn't want to have to resort to the alternative.

If she couldn't help Grissom, he would have to be institutionalized until he healed emotionally and mentally. Her heart plunged at the thought.

"Alright, lets just do anything that will help him. But we can't let him out of here no matter what. He would be a threat to himself and the public. He can't account for his actions right now." Catherine sighed, as she walked into the living room and watched Grissom sleep. She didn't know how he would react to being locked inside a cabin in the middle of nowhere. All she could do was wait and hope.

"Where am I?" Grissom asked aloud, knowing very well that Catherine was now in the room. He recognized her perfume; he had told her to stop wearing it on several occasions.

It could mess with her sense of smell at a crime scene.

He began to doubt that memory as well, as he slowly opened his eyes. Grissom immediately fought the pain his headache was offering him.

"You're in a cabin, I can't tell you where, but you're safe here. We have over two hundred acres of land surrounding us and that will help with your recovery." Catherine didn't want to hide any details from Grissom. She was afraid it would cloud his judgment even further.

"May I ask why I would need to be in such a state of isolation? Haven't I been through enough? I just want to be left alone." Grissom's voice lacked his usual signature of politeness, and which now held a sliver of sarcasm.

"Grissom I'm not going to hide anything from you. You've been acting strange…Wait, that's an under statement. You've been acting disturbed, and I would never call you crazy because I respect you too much. But to be honest, you're coming pretty close to the definition of insane." Catherine decided to bite her tongue as Dr. Mauve entered the room. Grissom immediately felt cold as the man loomed over him.

"Do you remember what you did to Sara?" The doctor bluntly asked. Grissom noticed a slight British accent underlining his speech.

Perhaps resided in Oxford once-upon-a-time?

"I went to see her, to clear matters up. I wanted to know the truth." Grissom stated, ignoring the worried look on Catherine's face.

"What did you do to her before that?" The doctor asked. Grissom was drawn to his voice and felt he had no choice to answer.

_A flash of himself grabbing Sara by the arm in a park entered his mind. _

Grissom shook that thought away, as he tried to calm himself with a more pleasant memory.

_Grissom grabbed Sara's hand gently and looked down at the deep scratch in her palm._

_"Honey, this doesn't look good."_

"Don't think about the past. You know it never happened. I'm not a fool Dr. Grissom; I know you're too smart not to have figured it out. You know that all your memories of Sara aren't real, they were contrived by your brain from the accident."

"No- there are too many." Grissom closed his eyes and fought with the memories of the present and his past. "She loves me…"

"She loves him!" The doctor yelled.

Grissom couldn't take it; he couldn't face the facts, when in his heart he knew there was once something there.

"How can memories that are not real, give me emotions such as love? It isn't possible!" Grissom yelled back to the doctor. He was too weak to stand, but if he could, he would run out of the cabin and back to her. There had to be a way to show her how much she meant to him. It couldn't still be late.

"Remember the party Dr. Grissom?" The doctor questioned.

He didn't want to think of that night, it was his fault he lost her. He shouldn't have left her alone.

"You shouldn't have left her alone. You always knew you would lose her to someone else. He's younger too. You think she would have stayed with you forever? Once your novelty wore off, she would have eventually moved on…and then where would you be? You'd be in the same position you are now, hurt and alone." The doctor's words echoed through out the empty cabin and left Grissom petrified.

He knew his greatest fear…

"I think this is going too fast Doctor…." Catherine was immediately cut off.

"No it isn't! The truth has to be told to him now, and we have to start therapy as soon as possible." He argued.

Grissom sat on the couch trembling, trying to hold in his pain. He was too strong to show them how much he hurt. They didn't deserve to know how much their words affected him.

"You are going to listen to me very closely Dr. Grissom. If you do not listen you will have to deal with the consequences. We need to get you better or else you will forever live in a life of pain and regret. You must realize that the Sara you knew did not exist." The doctor sat down on a chair in front of the couch.

"How? The memories won't go away…She won't leave. Every time I try to rationalize the situation, I hear her voice in my head." Grissom admitted aloud. The doctor just shook his head in recognition.

"Dr. Grissom, it's common for those who experience FMS to deny and hold on to their memories because it makes them happy. Your life will go on, and you will make new memories that will bring you joy. What I wish to do is hypnotize you and allow you to explain to me your life with Sara. After that, I want you to explain to me your last known memories with her. This will allow you to get all of your memories out of your system." The doctor allowed a faint smile to cross his lips to assure Grissom that he was going to be alright. Grissom thought his smile seemed more false than the memories that were "tainting" his mind.

"And you think that once I expel all my thoughts I will be normal instantly?" Grissom sarcastically replied. He couldn't help but feel bitter at the Doctor's arrogant solution.

Grissom loathed individuals that thought they had a solution for everything.

"No not instantly. But overtime your mind will heal and your logic will realize what memories are real and what ones are false." The doctor smiled once more at his explanation.

What could Grissom lose? If it meant being able to get over the pain he felt inside and get back to work, then he would do anything.

However, something in his gut told him that he would never be the same.

"You ready?" The doctor asked.

Grissom merely nodded and remained skeptical of the doctor's abilities. Catherine leaned against the fireplace which was turned off and hoped that the treatment would succeed.

The doctor started to talk softly and Grissom once more became compelled to listen to his voice.

"Relax…Think of nothing but silence and let the silence take over your mind….That's it. Just relax. When I count to five you will only respond to my voice. You will tell me everything I need to know, and will not leave anything out unless I tell you to." The man softly demanded.

Grissom nodded his head as his eyes remained closed. He felt a feeling of peace and silence overtake him, as he only heard the doctor count to five. Once he was done counting, it felt as if Grissom were floating out of his body.

He was unable to think of anything, only silence.

Until…

"Dr. Grissom, tell me about Sara."

"She was my fiancée; we met at her University when I used to give lectures there." Grissom admitted.

"Did she work with you?"

"She came to work with me after Holly Gribbs was murdered; she was going to investigate Warrick's gambling habit." Grissom robotically spoke aloud.

Catherine was amazed at the detail that was in his false memories. Holly Gribbs was murdered, and Warrick did have a gambling habit. But, Sara did not come and aid in any of those occasions.

"Tell me more about Sara, why weren't you together right away?" The doctor questioned.

"I was too afraid. I thought I had nothing to give her. We subtly flirted back and forth at work and no one took notice. Everyday I wanted to be closer to her. She eventually asked me to have dinner with her and I turned her down."

"Why? You loved her."

Catherine was really starting to become curious. Grissom had a lot of false memories, would he ever be able to strain out the real ones?

"I was losing my hearing; I didn't want her to be with me if I was going to be disabled. I thought it would be just another reason for her to leave me for someone else." A small oval shaped tear rolled down his cheek even with his eyes closed tight.

"So what changed your mind?"

"There was a case where there was a woman, Debbie Marlin who could have officially been Sara's doppelganger. They looked almost identical." Grissom explained.

"Go on…"

"As I looked at Debbie on the floor dead, I realized that life was too short. I kept on asking myself 'what if she died and you never told her you loved her?'" Grissom stopped talking and looked greatly upset even in a state of hypnosis.

"And then you told her right?"

"No…Like a fool I waited for two more years. Even after she confided in me about her mother and we held hands. Even after she was almost killed by an inmate at an institution…It wasn't until Nick was captured that I realized how fragile life was. I asked her out to dinner a couple of months after Nick's disappearance. We had a candle lit dinner under the stars, and I clumsily confessed my feelings to her." A smile graced his lips as he reminisced.

Catherine wished that these memories were in fact real; they brought Grissom so much happiness.

"What did you say?"

"I told her that I had been in love with her since I taught her nearly ten years ago. I admitted that too many times I had wanted to get lost in her embrace and spend the rest of my life with her. Surprisingly she felt the same way."

"You sound like you had many wonderful memories with her. Grissom, please remember that none of these were real. These were only memories your mind had constructed. Now please tell me of the last time you saw her. What is your last memory before you woke up in the hospital?" The doctor pressed on.

"We went to the party and I saw her kissing a guy. I was furious and she told me it was an accident. We got into the car and it started to rain harder. As we drove, hail started to fall. She was beautiful though, she wore a magenta gown I bought her for Christmas. Even though the weather outside was dreary, I kept on being thankful for the beauty that graced me in the car. As I tried to apologize, a van hit our bumper. I took off my seatbelt and was going to get out of the car to exchange information when…"

It was clear that Grissom didn't want to go further. The memory still hurt.

"Please go on. Know that she was never with you in the car, you were alone. Please keep that in mind."

"I just remember flying through the air. I think a truck hit our car, I wasn't wearing a seatbelt. I think she was, I don't remember… Then I must have blacked out for a while. When I woke up, I saw paramedics going over to me and not her. I tried to call out to them but nothing came out. The car was crushed and she must have been inside, she had to have been in there."

"Tell me more of what you saw." The man's voice made Grissom drift deeper into his subconscious, a place that held many secrets and desires he kept hidden from others and now even himself.

"The sky." Grissom's voice seemed to stutter as he tried to stop himself from remembering the past.

"What about the sky?" The man's voice held Grissom under a strange spell, a spell that was too strong to break.

"It was purple. Everything was dark, but the sky was always purple. Nothing seemed right after that night- she was gone. I know she was taken. But the sky; how is it that no one else notices?" Tears welled up in his eyes as his mind battled with his subconscious. Grissom continued to recall the events.

"I remember lying on the ground, alone, but I still felt her hand in mine. It was as if she was there with me even though I couldn't see her. After I woke up on the ground that is when I could no longer find her. She might have been taken away, but I knew she was in the car. She had to have been, I felt her!"

"Gil, stay focused. Where are you?" The man calmly asked.

" I'm no longer on the ground, I'm somewhere else above, far above the accident. Everything around me is white ... I'm there, with her. She's holding my hand. She is telling me that I'm going to be fine. She says that she is going to see me through this." Grissom's eyes rapidly moved as he relived the night that had haunted him for nearly a year.

"But then she disappears and I wake up again, and she's gone. I'm back at the accident once more and she's not there! It's my fault, I did this! But I can't stop it; they are telling me I'm going to be fine, I'm going to get through this!" Grissom cried.

"Who is telling you this Gil?"

"The people that only I can hear. They live in the purple skies- the skies above. And I'm there looking at her, bleeding. Bleeding, bleeding. And it won't stop! And I'm there all alone, I'm going to die and so will she."


	11. Chapter 10: Folie a Deux

Chapter 10

Magenta Skies

As Grissom sipped his tea, he had more questions than answers. It had been nearly twenty four hours since his therapy session and he remembered every word he had spoken. The doctor told him he would start to feel better and more alert, neither had occurred. He still felt Sara's presence and he still knew in his heart that their love was real. In couple of minutes he would begin another therapy session, which he knew would not help his situation. He needed to get out of the cabin and closer to her.

As Grissom finished his breakfast, Catherine asked the doctor for a lowdown on Grissom's odds at a full recovery.

"It's hard to say whether or not he will recover. I didn't realize he was hallucinating voices and images as well." The doctor sighed, as he looked through a medical journal in the living room.

Catherine took a seat across from him.

"What is the significance of the sky in Grissom's memory? It said in Grissom's hospital file that he had been seeing images of purple as well. What does this all mean?" Catherine whispered.

Somehow Grissom was able to make out the conversation, even from a lengthy distance. He continued to appear fascinated with his tea as he listened in with his back turned to the room.

"I have never heard of such symbolism in a hallucination. In this case, the color has a personal significance to the hallocinatee, one I will never figure out. The answer to the purple is in Grissom's subconscious, he would have to search himself to figure it out. As for the voices he is hearing 'in the sky', perhaps he could be referring to God?" Mauve questioned.

Catherine shook her head.

"No, Grissom has never been religious." She exclaimed, as she looked over at Grissom across the room.

"Catherine I hate to tell you this, but we may have to bring him to an institution as soon as possible. There is only so much I can do for him. We'll try another session, but if there is no improvement, I would suggest taking him tonight. As I said, brain injuries of this kind have to be attended to right away." Mauve, pat Catherine on the back, before heading to the kitchen for a glass of water.

Grissom's head spun at the thought of being confined and not being able to get to the truth. He knew something was wrong, Sara had to remember. He refused to believe he was going insane and stayed with the belief that everything had to return to normal.

"You shouldn't listen in on other people's conversations Dr. Grissom. Many believe ease dropping to be rude." The doctor smiled, as Grissom's mind raced for an explanation.

Feeling a sense of adrenaline rush through his body, Grissom leapt from his seat and ran into the living room.

"How could you know that I heard you?" Grissom demanded.

"What are you talking about? I never spoke to you." The doctor calmly exclaimed. Catherine already felt alarmed at Grissom's sudden hostility.

"Don't play with me. It's all you, isn't it? You're trying to make me look even more crazy, to take me to that institution! What do you know? Did you do this to me?" Grissom yelled, not being able to rationalize one thought running through his brain.

"Dr. Grissom, I assure you I am not doing anything to you or playing with your mind. And we're not taking you away anywhere." The doctor let out a flat chuckle at the thought, while Catherine still looked worried.

"Liar! You both must know the truth. What happened to Sara? Why doesn't she remember me? Is she experiencing FMS as well and believes Max is her husband? Did that bastard play along with it? I have a right to know!" Grissom screamed out the last few words, and was starting to become more and more, light headed.

"Feeling dizzy? You shouldn't have left her alone at that party Dr. Grissom." The doctor laughed.

Grissom felt all the blood drain from his face as a memory from yesterday flooded back into his mind.

_"You shouldn't have left her alone. You always knew you would lose her to someone else. He's younger too. You think she would have stayed with you forever. Once your novelty wore off, she would have eventually moved on. And then where would you be then? You'd be in the same position now. Hurt and alone." _

Grissom allowed a faint smirk to pierce his lips as he finally figured out a gap in the doctor's logic.

"If there was never a relationship between Sara and me, how did you know about the party? How did you know that I left her alone and that she flirted with Max?" Grissom pressed, as he moved closer to the doctor and Catherine.

"I never said such a thing!" The doctor yelled.

"Yes you did. And just now you told me I shouldn't have left her alone." Grissom moved closer to where the doctor was sitting. Catherine stood frozen, unable to comment as she watched Grissom grow more and more insane.

"I have hardly said a thing since you came into the room! Catherine, tell him!" Mauve looked at Catherine as Grissom loomed overtop of him.

"Grissom he has never said any of those things!" Catherine exclaimed, as she walked over to Grissom and tried to calm him down. As soon as he felt her arms on his back he shot them away.

"You're both liars!" Grissom screamed once more as he felt himself suddenly become dizzy.

In the distance he heard Mauve yell to Catherine to find some restraints. Catherine announced that he was being taken to the institution right away.

Suddenly he slowly began to feel himself fall to the floor.

His landing didn't even hurt; in fact his dizziness was starting to fade as his eyes began to close. Gradually he stopped feeling the hardwood floor beneath him, and began to hear crying in the distance.

When he opened his eyes he nearly leapt out of his skin.

_Right in front of him was Sara, looking in rather bad shape as she tried to wipe away her tears._

_"I love you, I hope you know that." Sara sobbed._

_"Sara? You know who I am? You love me…?" The confusion built up further as he noticed he was in a room that was completely white. He couldn't see anything else around him- except for Sara. _

_Was he dead?_

_As Sara knelt down beside him and looked into his eyes, he knew his love for her was real. Once this realization hit him he felt his head grow dizzy once more as his whole body tingled, and Sara faded to black._

"Grab his arms before he wakes up!" The doctor hissed as he continued to hold Grissom on the floor. As Grissom regained consciousness, the love he felt for Sara grew stronger and he knew he was not living a lie.

Something wasn't right.

Could he have experienced a memory of him in the hospital? Maybe Sara had visited him while he was still recovering.

But how can she not remember?

"Grissom open your eyes, we know you're awake. Stop trying to cling onto the past start thinking about the present! She isn't real. You were just hallucinating!' Mauve yelled as he continued to hold Grissom down on the floor.

He had to escape all of the madness and find her once more.

"You can let me go, I'm not an infant!" Grissom replied, his voice slightly muffled, as his head remained pressed against the floor.

"Gil you know why I have to do this right? It's for your own good." Catherine tried to hold back any emotion. It was partially his own fault for his predicament; he should have never stolen that hospital file. He should have never gone on an insane quest to confront a woman who only lived within his dreams.

"I know Cath, I completely understand. I know I need help, please just let me get up and get some air." Grissom let his false statement hang in the air and he felt the adrenaline surge through his body, when the grasp on his back was released.

Grissom slowly got up in order to play out his plan of action in his head. He needed to know where he was in order to escape; he could be in the middle of Siberia for all he knew.

"Can you at least inform me where we are, so I will know the distance we will have to travel to the institution?" Grissom calmly asked, hiding any emotion of fear.

Catherine and Mauve seemed taken aback from Grissom's sudden change in behavior.

However, Mauve was quick to catch on. He always seemed to know what Grissom was thinking.

"Look who's lying now. You just want to know where you are so you can plan your escape. There is no way in hell you're going to go to that institution quietly." Mauve grinned while Catherine seemed to stare at Grissom with no apparent interest.

Mauve started to close in on Grissom and Catherine followed his lead. It seemed as if Catherine was under Mauve's spell as she tried to back Grissom in the corner of the living room.

Luckily for Grissom the door to the outside world was very close, it was just across the room.

He had to get out of here.

"Isn't it funny how you always know what I'm thinking?" Grissom grinned as he waited for the doctor's response.

"Isn't it strange that you hear voices every night, and desire a woman who does not exist? You really do need help, and we're going to give it to you, whether you co-operate or not." Mauve reached out to Grissom to try to restrain him once more, but Grissom anticipate the attack. His fist swiftly made a smooth course into Mauve's chest, allowing him to run free.

As Grissom made his way to the door, a sudden click stopped him in his tracks.

"Don't move Gil. I don't want to do this, but you're leaving me with no choice." Catherine exclaimed as her hands shook in shock.

"I'd rather die, than stay in an institution to treat a disease I don't have. When I blacked out on the floor I saw her Cath. While unconscious for the first time I felt as if the world suddenly made sense. I had a new memory and it was of her. She was at my side when I was in the hospital. I know she loves me." Gil admitted, not caring what Catherine thought of him.

"Listen to me Gil, those are all false memories. You have to come to terms with that fact, or else you will allow yourself to do things you may regret." Catherine walked within a mere foot as to where Grissom was standing in the doorway. Her gun was still pointing at him, and she still appeared as if she would use the weapon if he tried to escape.

"Tell me where we are, you know that I'm not going to stay here." Grissom demanded.

"I'm not giving you anything Gil, you're coming with me and there will be no negotiations." Catherine was about to lower her weapon, until Grissom jolted forward and in one fast move he kicked her gun out of her hand. To make Grissom's point even more clear, he pulled out a sharp letter opener he had stolen one morning from the kitchen table, and pointed it at Catherine.

"No one is getting in my way, is that clear? How can I be so sure to trust you when my gut is telling me to run? Something isn't right and I'm going to find out what it is. If you follow me I will not be responsible for my actions. Just so we're clear, we're no longer friends, but foes." Grissom ran out of the house as fast as he could and was bombarded with a sharp noise resonating within his head.

The beep grew louder and louder, which sent him to the ground.

The grass felt like cotton, which was an unexplainable sensation. His body felt as if it were floating on silk rather than the coarse sensation of dirt.

As the beep grew louder that is when he felt his whole body jolt in pain. He no longer saw the cabin or the vast forest. He could only see purple.

Magenta swirls of color dotted behind his eyes as he heard the voices once more.

_"Grissom?...Can you hear me?"_

The words repeated in his mind and he was finally able to decipher who was saying them.

"Sara?"

That is when his eyes opened and all of the shades of purple disappeared.

As he slowly became aware of his environment, there was one question he kept on repeating in his mind. Why was he bleeding?


	12. Chapter 11: Broken Butterflies

**AN**: As I publish my last remaining chapters let me remind you of an old proverb: "Things aren't always as they seem." Thanks to everyone for their support with this fic. You're reviews helped more than you can imagine. Sometimes encouragement does wonders! Another thanks to **Unspoken**, who betaed quickly and accurately!

"Broken Butterflies"

Chapter 11

**Magenta Skies**

Grissom, now found himself no longer within the confines of the forest or the cabin. He was now on someone's lawn, unable to move. The pain was too much. How did he become injured? He didn't even remember leaving the cabin. Could he have had a blackout?

His head hurt more than anything, and he began to worry if he had sustained another head injury.

"That would account for the blackouts and hearing voices." Grissom thought, as he tried with all his strength to get up. The lawn looked familiar to him, as his vision started to clear up. As the fence guarding the home became clear, Grissom tried his hardest to not panic.

"How the hell did I get to Sara's home?" Grissom wondered aloud, as he forced himself to think as objectively as possible. It had to be another head injury, somehow he had gotten there, and he wanted to know how. As he struggled to remember, Sara walked down the street, at first unaware of the wounded Grissom lying outside her home. As she drew closer, her eyes grew wide as she stood in shock at the man before her.

At first she wanted to scream, then run…Or maybe call the police. But as she looked the man over closer, she realized he was in no position to hurt her.

Before she could take out her cell phone and dial the paramedics, Grissom's voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Please don't!" Grissom begged.

"You don't want medical attention?" Sara asked confused and still a little worried. She remained as far away as possible. Her previous encounters with Grissom all had started and ended horribly. She still harbored a great deal of fear for the man, she had once admired in University. Somehow though, despite all of her logical objections, deep down she felt something for him. She couldn't explain her feelings; it was as if she knew him.

"I think the police are looking for me. I know you have no right to listen to what I have to say, after all that has happened, but can you at least do this one thing? I am sorry for any harm I have caused you and your family…I just have been going through some rough changes and…I…" The pain in his head resumed once more. This time it was too great to keep inside and he let out a scream.

Sara instinctively knelt down beside Grissom and checked his pulse. The closeness of her action only sent his heart rate over the edge, missing a few beats along the way. They both stared at each other for what seemed to have been hours until Sara broke their gaze.

"I should really call the paramedics. I'm not a doctor; I don't know what to do." Sara looked into Grissom's eyes once more where she felt a familiarity and a sense of belonging once more.

"Please, could I just stay in your backyard until I'm able to walk? I promise I won't do anything…I…"

"The backyard?" Sara's eyes bulged once more at the thought of it.

"Please, I have no where else to go. I know you would love to let me suffer more than anything right now. But please let me get better, and then you can turn me in if you want." Grissom looked down at the blood before him and tried to remain calm, as he noticed it was bright shade of magenta.

"I don't want you to suffer."

It was the truth; she did not want to see anyone suffer in pain. She got into Criminalistics to help others, not gloat when she observed an individual in pain.

The comment left Grissom with some hope, as Sara helped him off of the ground. He tried to suppress his smile as he inhaled her scent. She smelled of mandarin oranges and green tea, an interesting combination. It was one scent however, he could never get enough off- it was hers.

Somehow despite all of Sara's negativity towards Grissom, she felt a bond of trust. The feeling was not in her earlier.

As the couple limped their way slowly towards the entrance, Grissom couldn't help but worry.

"Don't get me wrong, I thank you for your help, but won't your husband be less than thrilled at my presence." Grissom hoarsely asked, trying to grit his teeth from the pain in his leg.

Sara opened the door and let it creek for a bit, before answering.

"My husband and my son are out of town."

Her response was simple, but seemed out of character. Less than a month ago seemed terrified by his presence, and now she appeared to be the opposite.

"Maybe she's remembering me…" Grissom thought as Sara guided him over to a white leather sofa in the living room.

Grissom immediately felt relaxed as he looked around the room. The blue hues resonating off of the paint on the walls, made him feel as if he were at the beach. Colorful, dried butterflies hung on display around the room, which made Grissom's heart lurch. A memory from when they were dating flashed into Grissom's mind.

_Grissom handed Sara a wrapped box, with a simple ribbon encasing its exterior. _

_Sara felt immediately confused._

_"What's the occasion?" She wondered aloud, and was perplexed by Grissom's loving expression._

_"It's our one month anniversary." He stated aloud. _

_A simple smirk appeared on Sara's lips. As she stared into his eyes, he couldn't help but blush._

_Was he over doing it?_

_"Griss- I can't believe I'm the one who forgot! It's usually the boyfriend who forgets about all the important days… I'm actually feeling pretty bad for not getting you anything." Sara continued to hold the box waiting for approval to open it._

_"I'm sure you'll make it up to me later." Grissom allowed the statement with a great amount of subtext, to linger in the air, before motioning Sara to open her gift._

_Sara looked as if she were a child on Christmas morning, as her smile grew wider with every step closer to her surprise._

_When she finished opening the box and took her present out of its packaging, her eyes grew wide._

_A beautiful monarch butterfly enclosed in a glass box, lay before her in all its natural beauty. It was a gift that was truly Grissom._

_"Grissom! It's beautiful." Sara smiled, as she took the insect out of the wrapping and placed it on the table beside her. There was one thing her apartment did not have: a monarch butterfly._

_"I thought after each mile stone in our relationship I could give you a butterfly. When I was a child my mother told me that butterflies originated from fairies, who brought love to anyone they came into contact with. Therefore, because of that fable, I thought I could express my love to you in such a context." Grissom was rewarded with a single tear falling down Sara's cheek and a long lingering kiss that he never wanted to end._

Grissom was brought back to reality, with the sound of a crash. One of Sara's butterfly specimens fell to the ground and shattered into hundreds of pieces.

"Oh my god!" Sara ran over to the shards of glass and the wounded dried up insect; she seemed dismal by the accident.

Grissom remained confused. It just fell by itself, without a presence disturbing its balance.

"Max gave this one to me during our first date." Sara wiped a tear from her eye and began to laugh. "I guess it seems pretty silly for me to be crying about a destroyed butterfly huh?" Sara cleaned up the mess, as Grissom sat stunned and heart broken on top of the couch.

"She has to be mixed up... This can't be happening." Grissom thought, as he felt his heart rate double.

Sara's voice made him jump.

"Are you alright? You're starting to look worse." Sara walked over to Grissom and felt his forehead. The sudden contact this time made Grissom draw away.

"Please don't touch me; it will only make things worse." Reality was starting to hit him at a steady rate.

She doesn't remember him. He must really be crazy.

What did he do to Catherine?

Did he seriously injure a doctor?

He did everything to get to this point, and now it seemed ridiculous and hopeless.

"What do you mean?" Sara asked, looking even more worried when she first saw him bleeding on the ground.

"There's a lot you don't know about me." Grissom sighed, as his head shook with the prospect of leading an abnormal life.

"Please explain." Sara asked, as she sat at his feet and seemed genuinely concerned.

How can she be so nice after everything he has done? After the way he has acted?

Something wasn't right.

"I have memories about you that we both don't share. I remember working with you in Vegas at the crime lab. I remember us…You asked me out and I refused. It was a stupid decision on my part. Eventually we started our relationship, a move I would never regret. The last time I saw you I was going to propose to you, but we got into a fight…And then we were in a car accident." Grissom watched Sara's expression grow even more confused as he continued. "I wasn't wearing my seatbelt, but you were. I supposedly flew through the windshield and landed on my head After that nothing was the same..." Grissom felt helpless as a lonely tear meandered down his cheek. He was hoping that his memories would shed some light on his situation.

If only she shared at least one memory of his…

"Did you experience any head injuries? Is that why you have all of these memories which aren't real?" Sara wondered and started to grow compassionate for Grissom's situation. Now she could understand his state of mind and why he had been acting so irrationally.

"The doctors said I was experiencing False Memory Syndrome, my mind had jumbled up fact and fiction. But the memories I do have of us seem so real. I have never been in love… Until I met you." Grissom looked into Sara's eyes and was surprised to not find fear.

"I feel so bad now that I didn't know what you were going through. You know, I had a major crush on you in University. Every lecture you gave, I wanted to ask you out for dinner." Sara blushed as she gently took Grissom's hand to calm him down.

"Did you?" Grissom wondered curiously.

"No. I thought you would just think I was too young." Sara giggled as she looked into his eyes once more. "I'm sorry by the way."

The statement took him off guard.

"Honey, what could you be sorry for?" Grissom felt his cheeks grow red as he realized what had slipped from his tongue. To his surprise Sara did not object to his blunder.

"I'm sorry, I don't share your memories." Sara admitted, as she felt her stomach turn over in response to Grissom's smile.

Without thinking, Grissom leaned forward and drew Sara closer to him. They both seemed frozen in time, as they admired each other within an inch of contact.

Sara didn't know what she was doing; she just seemed hypnotized by his eyes and the sheer scent that made up Grissom. Even though she shared none of the memories he held to his heart, she felt as if they belonged together.

Sara was the first one to make a move; Grissom was too scared to attempt contact. As soon as their lips met, an unknown passion erupted within Sara. She allowed his tongue to brush hers and moaned every time he ventured deeper within her mouth. His hands went up her shirt, as he craved for more contact to make him self believe it was real.

No matter what he did, he would still feel as if he were caught in a hallucination. However, Grissom knew that the sheer reality of the situation was too real to be a dream.

Sara removed her shirt and allowed Grissom to lick every inch of her chest. She was paralyzed in his grasp, as she allowed him to take her, including her soul.

As they made love, Grissom noticed that his wounds had suddenly healed. He no longer bore any cuts, he had mysteriously endured before. Was his mind still giving out? He shunned any negative thoughts from his mind, as he continued to make Sara moan in ecstasy as their bodies moved as one.

He could only prey that his life would stay this content as he kissed Sara's forehead.

"I should have taken you up on that dinner offer a long time ago." Sara smiled, as she felt her heart rate slowly return to normal.

Grissom could only smirk in response.

"I would have probably said something absurd like 'I don't know what to do about this.'" Grissom shook the memory, which most likely was fiction from his mind, as he felt his head grow light from sleepiness.

Sara's eyes had already begun to close, as they both succumbed to slumber.


	13. Chapter 12: Dark Secrets

"Dark Secrets"

Chapter 12

Magenta Skies

Grissom opened his eyes to a sense of panic. Where was he? He was no longer in the safe haven that was Sara's living room. He was no longer sleeping next to the woman he loves.

There was something in his hand, it was long and heavy, and he was beginning to not want to open his eyes.

Why could he hear muffled screams?

As he opened his eyes he nearly threw up at what he saw. Grissom was holding a knife over Sara who was tied up in a chair. Her limbs were tied up with rope, while her mouth was covered with duct tape.

He immediately dropped the knife. The part that scared him the most was the fear in her eyes. What had he done?

His whole body began to shake, as he dropped to the ground beside the knife. As he looked down at the weapon on the ground, he felt even more light headed.

There was blood on the knife and it wasn't Sara's. Despite the emotion of pain and horror on her face, she did not have a scratch on her.

He needed to get up off of his feet and free her! But why couldn't he move his legs? As he looked down once more, he saw blood stains on his pants. He was attacked? Or, did someone try to defend themselves.

"No, I could never do this. I had to have been setup. It wasn't me. I love her, she finally loves me. This can't be happening." Grissom realized that his thoughts were now being screamed aloud and began to worry even more for his sanity.

Grissom forced himself to get up and walk over to Sara. The closer he got, the more he realized that she wasn't wearing any clothes. The image was anything but appealing. He did this…? Impossible! Who ever hurt her was going to pay for the rest of their life.

When Grissom approached her, her whole body began to shake in fear. The sight made his heart lurch.

"I'm not going to hurt you- I'm going to help you." Grissom tried to sound as calm as possible, as he quickly ripped off the tape around her mouth. He was rewarded with a bite on his hand.

"You bastard." Sara swore. As she felt the tears stream down her face once more.

"Sara? Please tell me who did this…"

She merely continued to try to shield her body in response and Grissom noticed the gesture. As he left what appeared to be a bedroom and entered a living room, an over whelming sense of familiarity flooded his brain.

This was the cabin he was taken to for hypnosis. He didn't even know where he was, he never knew the location. As he stumbled into the living room, he grabbed a blanket and walked back into the bedroom unsure of what to do.

Grissom was in a state of shock; he should untie Sara and let her free. But if the real killer was around, he might kill them both if he did anything. She was safer where she was for now. He knew he didn't do this- he couldn't have.

Grissom gently put the blanket around Sara and earned nothing but a few spits in the face.

"Who did this to you Sara? What happened?"

"You fucking psycho! Why don't you just look in the, god damn, VCR?" Sara cried aloud, as her head fell helplessly to her sobs.

As his whole body shook in fear, he walked out to the living room and pushed "play" on the VCR.

_The first image made his stomach turn._

_Sara was undressing in her bedroom._

_The image flickered to Sara walking to the supermarket with her son. There was no voice on the tape, only ambience, as the stalker watched Sara's everyday routines._

_The next image was of Sara walking down the street at night. She seemed to get closer and closer to the camera until someone in black ran out and grabbed her._

_Her screams were muffled by a man's hand, and then the picture turned to static._

_As the next image faded in, Grissom felt himself grow further light headed._

_Sara was tied to a bed naked, squirming to get free. She was trying to cry out but no one could hear her screams as the duct tape muffled her pleas._

_The figure in black walked into frame, his back turned to the camera and approached Sara. As his hand slowly caressed her legs, Sara's muffled screams became louder._

_Grissom couldn't take it anymore, he was just about to turn off the tape when he heard the attacker rip off Sara's tape. The noise caught his attention._

"Maybe she'll say something that will lead to the man's identity." Grissom forced himself to watch in horror.

_As he watched the man remove his pants and boxers and loom ontop of Sara, one voice pushed bile up to his throat._

_"Now when I have you, you must use my name. If you scream I will kill your husband and your son is that clear?" _

_"Please **Grissom don't do this**…" Sara cried._

"Oh my god." Grissom ran over to the VCR, and pushed stop. He let the sound of static linger in the air as he felt his stomach finally give out. As he threw up on the floor he took pleasure in the pain he was experiencing. It was not enough- he deserved far worse.

Nothing was real. Could this be happening? He was too insane now to tell fact from fiction. Did Sara even let him into her home?

His head spun, as he forced himself to go back to her. He needed to let her go, he didn't care what happened to him.

"I'm so sorry…I…"Grissom trembled.

"You're sorry?" Sara bitterly retorted as she struggled once more to free herself. "You weren't fucking sorry when you killed him, were you? Did you have to let me watch? Why me! He was my life! I don't even know you." Sara screamed once more, her voice echoing across the room.

"What man?" Grissom felt even more panic surge through his body at the prospect of something else he had done.

Sara merely pointed towards an adjoining bathroom, her hand shaking at the gesture. She wrapped the blanket around her tighter, in an attempt to shield herself from him. No amount of fabric could shield her from the pain she had already experienced. She could only hope it would soon be over.

As Grissom slowly walked into the fear of the unknown, he could only pray he hadn't done anything to further confirm his insanity. He already didn't deserve to live, that fact he knew. He should have listened to Catherine when she tried to help him. The doctor was right; he needed help, now he wished he would have taken their advice.

Grissom's hands slowly shook as he turned the bathroom door handle. He didn't want to know what he was capable of. He thought he was a decent man, who had a good set of values once upon a time. Now he knew he was a monster which had to be caged.

Once the door opened, Grissom dropped to the floor in fear. Sara's cries could still be heard as she shook even harder.

Max, Sara's husband was in the bathtub and all the life had been sucked of him. There appeared to be more than ten stab wounds to his chest, which made Grissom remember the knife which was in his hand when he woke up. The degree of arterial spray on the walls and ceiling indicated all or most of the wounds had occurred while the victim was still alive.

He did this, there was no killer to be found. The evidence never lied, and right now it was pointing a straight finger at Grissom.

Why? That was one question he kept on asking himself. He didn't deserve to live; he deserved much more than a lethal injection. He needed to suffer. As he continued to look at the body lifeless before him, images filled his brain.

He remembered.

_"You don't deserve her! She was mine!" Grissom yelled as he stabbed Max in the chest. Sara's screams and pleas could be heard in the distance._

_Grissom's eyes shot to Sara._

_'Shut up! You don't love him anyways. It was me you have always wanted. Why can't you remember!" Grissom cursed at Sara, he wasn't even heart broken at the hundreds of tears rolling down her cheeks._

_"Please just stop! I'll do anything you want, just stop." Sara begged._

"Oh my god…I did, do this" Grissom smothered his hands into his face as Sara watched him in disgust.

"When I get out of here I will kill you, make no mistake." Sara threatened.

"Good." Grissom whispered as he drew closer to Sara to untie her.

_Another memory flashed into Grissom's mind-_

_Grissom forced Sara to have sex with him against her will, getting more and more turned on by her painful screams as her husband watched helplessly. _

_Max was tied and gagged in a chair in front of the bed, closing his eyes the entire time._

_"You like that don't you?" Grissom laughed, at Sara._

"I deserve to suffer." Grissom's voice was barely audible as he untied one knot.

_"Why? Why me?" Sara yelled as Grissom continued to pleasure himself against her._

_"Because you were always mine!" Grissom grunted._

As Grissom untied the last restraint, he didn't even cry out when Sara jumped out at him and punched him in the stomach. The hit had taken all of the air out of his lungs as he struggled to breathe.

_Grissom drove inside his car as the rain poured down. He was driving back from Ecklie's party…_

_Alone._

_And then the truck hit his car and he flew out of the windshield._

_Alone._

"Who will suffer now asshole?" Sara didn't think about her actions as she punched into Grissom with all of her strength. She was not in a proper state of mind, as her anger and bottled emotions were finally released. She knew he deserved to die; he had ruined her entire life for no particular reason.

Grissom allowed Sara to firmly plant her hands around his throat, as he felt everything around him grow quieter and darker. He didn't even bother to fight her, as he felt his life force slowly start to make its way out of his body. As he began to slip unconscious, a bang made Sara release her grip. She gripped the blanket firmly around her body once more as she waited to see if the noise would return.

A small rat scurried across the floor and ran into the next room.

Assuming it could have been the wind, or her imagination, she looked back to her task at hand. She couldn't do it now. Now he looked human. She should have finished him off while she was still able to stomach it.

Grissom woke up and immediately and felt sick once more. He wasn't dead, yet he should be.

"Kill me." Grissom merely demanded.

"You're a bastard, but I'll love seeing you suffer via lethal injection more." Sara gritted her teeth and tried to force herself not to take him up on his offer.

"Do it before I do something to someone else." Grissom begged.

"No." Sara combated.

Grissom rose off the floor, the action made Sara back away, and began to regret her decision. He walked over to the nightstand and picked up the knife, the action made her feel helpless once more. He surprised her by sliding it on the floor over to Sara.

The knife seemed to grin at Sara in response, making her feel even more tempted.

Grissom decided to entice her even though he felt sick doing so.

"How did it feel when I was taking you against your will? You want it to happen again? It could be arranged."

The statement pushed Sara off the edge once more, as she ran over to Grissom and plunged the knife deep within his chest. The pain was unimaginable.

She must have hit close to his heart, because with every faint beat he felt a gush of blood spill to the floor.

Sara couldn't watch.

She turned away in regret and relief, as she listened to Grissom, take his final breaths.

Once upon a time, they may have been happy together.

Once upon a time, they may have grown old together… but not in this universe.


	14. Chapter 13: The Uncalculated Truth

"The Uncalculated Truth"

Chapter 13

Magenta Skies

He could only hear the soft hums, of familiar electronic equipment. The scent of paint and disinfectant swirled around the air, as he tried to inhale the oxygen around him. Something was forcing himself to breathe; he wasn't doing it on his own.

What was going on?

His head hurt more than anything, and why couldn't he stop hearing the voice, that familiar voice. There was something in his hand, it felt familiar. It felt soothing.

"You're going to be alright, don't give up." The familiar feminine voice he had heard many times in his head now seemed louder.

His whole body felt as if it were floating, as a silky feeling beneath him started to put him at ease. The beeping noise which continued to resonate near his ear, began to pick up its pace.

That noise felt familiar too.

His head hurt more than anything, yet both of his legs throbbed with every pulse.

There was something that he had been worried about; he couldn't remember what it was. He remembered being shot…Or was it stabbed?

"Grissom!" Sara screamed in joy. The voice shot his eyes open immediately.

He couldn't talk; there was something down his throat. He could see her. He somehow had the urge to draw back in fear, he thought he would hurt her…He couldn't remember why.

Now he couldn't remember anything at all.

The last thing he could clearly remember was him flying through the window and landing hard on the pavement. She was inside the car, she was alright.

The paramedics had gone over to him first because he was injured worse, Sara was still conscious. He remembered lying on the ground drifting in and out of consciousness, when he saw her.

She was demanding something to the paramedics.

_"I'm not going anywhere until I see him!"_ _Sara protested. Her magenta gown was torn to shreds in the places she had sustained injures. Despite her pain, she rose off the wheelchair and knelt down beside Grissom._

_She took her hand in his, and told him everything would be alright, that she was going to see him through this. She kissed his hand one last time._

_That's when he saw it. His vision was starting to go cloudy as Sara's dress flew into his face. All he could see was magenta. She still looked beautiful._

_And that's when everything turned to black._

"He's back!" Sara didn't fight the tears, as she fought the urge to smother Grissom in one huge hug, as she called out once more to the doctor in the hall.

"They told me to give up, but I never did. I knew you would make it, you're too strong to quit." Sara had never felt so grateful in all her life. She was not a religious person, but during the past few weeks she began to pray, to what she did not know. She prayed every night for Grissom to come back to her, and now he was living proof that miracles do happen.

Grissom tried once more to say something, but his vocal cords seemed paralyzed.

"Don't try to talk Dr. Grissom; you're hooked up to a artificial respiration machine. You weren't able to breathe on your own for quite sometime." The doctor flashed a light in Grissom's eyes and seemed satisfied at the result. "We'll get a nurse to take the tube out of your throat right away. You now seem able enough to breathe on your own steam." The doctor quickly made his way out into the hall, leaving Sara in shock still.

"I still can't believe you're looking at me. I was dreading the thought of never looking into your eyes again." Sara fought the sting of tears that were starting to form.

Grissom let his lips curl into a smile, as he used all his strength to gently grab Sara's hand.

He remembered her being there. She was always with him, even during the worst times. He couldn't really remember everything, but he did remember seeing her with him. He just knew in his heart that everything was starting to finally feel normal, even though he couldn't recall what had been wrong.

As the nurse took out his tube and warned him to start speaking slowly, he had to say one thing.

"I love you." Grissom hoarsely whispered. He was surprised at the roughness of his voice. Sara on the other hand was just glad to hear him.

"I love you too." Sara gripped his hand. "You were in a coma for more than a month, although I'm sure it must have felt more like a year. Do you remember anything?" Sara hoped she didn't bombard Grissom with too much information. She could only hope that his brain wasn't damaged. The doctor said they would only know once he woke up.

"No." Grissom admitted.

"I have something for you; you lost it a little while ago." Sara smiled as she put a small purple box into Grissom's hand. The velvety texture sent a memory back to his mind.

Grissom opened the box and didn't bother to suppress a smile at its contents. A large diamond ring, greeted the couple as the light hit its surface and spread a small rainbow of light across Sara's face.

Grissom gently took the ring out of the box and looked into Sara's eyes.

No words were needed, and Grissom was barely able to say them. Sara could read his mind.

Sara felt a tear of joy grace her cheek, a symbol of acceptance as Grissom slid the ring onto her finger.

"This must have been the first silent proposal in the history of engagements, that is, unless a mute had attempted the same endeavor." Grissom thought.

As Sara continued to admire her ring and Grissom's wakefulness, the sound of fast heals clicking against linoleum caught his attention. The sound of a baby crying grew closer as well with every step. A wide smile formed across Sara's lips as she tried to read Grissom's reaction.

Catherine grinned with excitement, as she entered the room with a small, plump baby boy dressed in blue.

"Grissom! You don't know how relieved we are that you're finally awake. The team has missed you like hell. And… there is still someone you have to say 'hi' to." Catherine beamed as she passed the infant into the loving arms of Sara.

The baby cooed in response, and the sight made Grissom confused.

"I know you missed the delivery but let me assure you, you didn't miss anything important. This little guy had me screaming for hours on end. I had to squeeze Greg's hand the entire time. I think he must have endured a couple of fractures. Spencer, say hello to Daddy." Sara picked up the baby's tiny hand and made him wave in response.

A sick feeling started to creep over Grissom, as the doctor entered the room.

"So how's the proud papa? Has he experienced any amnesia that any of you two could tell?" The doctor asked.

"Not so far…" Sara smiled. She crossed her fingers as the doctor continued to stare at Grissom.

"I was just about to tell him that I was glad he at least saw me pregnant. I'll never forget the time he ran out at three am to buy me a watermelon, while at the lab. I'm glad I don't have those cravings anymore." Sara grinned, but became concerned at the bleak expression on Grissom's face.

"What's wrong?" Sara became alarmed as she noticed that Grissom was starting to grow pale, the doctor ran over to Grissom in response.

"…I never remember you being pregnant..." Grissom hoarsely confessed.

**The End**


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